The hardest thing to say . . .

Even though I grew up in a large family, it wasn't a close knit bunch. And it sure wan't affectionate. I clearly remember the first time my mother told me she loved me; I was 21.

About 6 months earlier I realized I never told my oldest daughter that I loved her. Then as I started thinking about it I realized that I didn't tell my mom either. We didn't exchange hugs. Hell, we seldom exchanged kind words.

So, I made a point of telling her "I love you" every time we'd leave her house or were just about to hang up on the phone. It took her 6 months of constantly hearing it from me before she finally repeated it one day as I was leaving her house. I didn't make a big deal of it; but I've never forgotten it.

I also made a point of telling my girls I loved them as often as possible. I didn't want them growing up feeling unloved or being uncomfortable telling others they loved them.

Because I am. I feel genuine love for my sisters and brothers, my husband, my children, even special friends and family members. But the words are so hard to get out. I feel like I'm handing someone a loaded gun pointed right at my chest every time I WANT to say I love you.

The only exceptions are my children and my husband.

It makes me wonder if there are others out there that feel the same way. Torn between wanting to respond back, "I love you, too." and not saying anything -- and thereby, risking hurting someone they love.

Just wanted to share so if you love someone and share that with them, don't assume they don't love you in return if you don't here the words back. As in most things, actions speak loudner than words.