Confess and loose a friend or spouse

I read this article written by Dear Abby well over 20 years ago, that has always stuck with me. A man had cheated on his wife. He regretted it and was doing everything to make up for it; but he'd never confessed to his wife. They were happier than they had ever been and he was afriad she would find out and it would all be over. And he was eaten alive with guilt.

He thought if he wanted to save his marriage he needed to be honest with his wife and tell her what had happened. Not so shocking . . .

What shocked me was Dear Abby's response. She said the only thing he would accomplish by telling his wife was the clearning of his own consouse. If the problem had gone away and was no longer likely to reoccur or hurt their relationship he should keep his mouth shut. Yes, it would most likely continue to bother him but he deserved that for what he'd done.

Go Abby! I had no idea the old broad was so open minded. But I totally agree with her. I don't believe in lying to your spouse. But really, if you've already screwed around on them, whats a little lie by obmission?

I actually have used this same advice several times thorugh out my life. Not that I make a habbit of screwing around on my wife. :)

But situatoins come up all the time with coworkers, friends, and family where you act in ways you know they would not approve up. And you just don't tell them. Your actions dont even have to be bad ones; they could be things you KNOW you need to do that someone you love or care about will never understand:

Meeting an old lover for lunch because they are a part of your past and just want to say hi -- REALLY,
Voting for the other person and not your friend,
Reporting suspiouse or illegal activity conducted by someone you know,
Buying that dress you really can't afford but have to have,
Spilling wine on the shirt they really should never be seen in public in, etc.

Regardless, if you did something wrong or if you took a stand for something you belived in, sometimes the best way to handle it is to just not mention it at all.