A Comfortable Anniversary

Today was our twelve anniversary. We went out for a nice set down breakfast (if you have toddlers you know how rare these can be), went bowling, and just stayed home and relaxed the rest of the day. Watched the conclusion to Survivor.

Steve asked me several times what I wanted to do. I'd tell him it was both our anniversaries and ask him what he wanted to do. His response was, "Oh, no. My job is to do what you want to do."

Oddly, it wasn't me that taught him that. I don't know where he gets his weird ideas on how men are suppose to treat their wives . . . but I like them.

I can't explain adequately how enjoyable and relaxing our day was, without comparing it to anniversaries of my past. Way past.

The Past

I was married to the girls father for ten years. And to be fair, I don't know if it was the dynamics of that marriage or my age that contributed to the differences in anniversaries.

First, they were HUGELY important. I would spend hundreds just getting pampered for my anniversary; hair dye and style, makeup, tanning, fake nails. I would spend more on the perfect outfit to wear out: something slinky that didn't say "Momma" when I put it on. Oh, and it had to have matching shoes and accessories.

There had to be plans: a drive to the city, dinner in a nice restaurant, dancing, lots of alcohol. Actually, every thing in those years required lost of alcohol. And I would INSIST upon my husband dressing up and going along with everything I wanted. Which was HUGE. I am not, nor have I ever been, the "insist" kind of wife.

And every year I was disappointed. It didn't matter how hard I tried, what I wore, what we did or ate, where we went . . . it just never filled the "need" I had that always popped up around my anniversary.

The Present

Steve and I are so relaxed and casual about our anniversaries that last year we actually forgot it. Bot of us, totally forgot it. It was about a week past our anniversary when we were looking at the calendar for something and went, "Oh no, we didn't!" But we did. We just laughed. You hear or husbands forgetting their anniversary date occasionally. But how often have you heard of both parties forgetting it the same year?

Our marriage isn't flashy or exciting. We're not sexy or rich. We are just normal people who care and support each other in a hundred small ways every day. We allow each other to be who they really are and enjoy the oddities that make them unique. We're not perfect by any means, as people or as a relationship. But we've learned to adapt, ignore, and work around most of our differences.

I don't know if it's the level of trust in our relationship, acceptance within ourselves, or peace within our home lives that allows our anniversary to so comfortably pass.

But for whatever reason, I much prefer today to the lavish and expensive anniversaries of my past.

I sit here relaxed and happy, looking forward to many more anniversaries in the future. Including a few "missed" ones as well.