One of the most profound and painful moments of my life was when at the grand old age of five, my youngest daughter told me that during vocation day at school she informed everyone that she wanted to grow up to be nothing, just like her mom.
I took it to heart and attended a local college to get some training, determined to be SOMETHING.
I started stressing how important it is for women to have a formal training of somekind to the girls. How important it was to finish high school and go to college. To have a career; not a job.
I pushed, and pushed, and pushed.
And I thought I got through. They did both graduate from HS, and in my family, that was no small thing.
They both immediately went to college. Bonnet dropped out as soon as her funding ran out; after the first semester. Since then she has been in one dead-end job after another. Floundering. She is talking about taking a real estate course now and I've excited about that.
Tori has managed to put herself through college for almost two years. And it has been long, painful years for her. Over the last few months she's been talking about how unhappy she is attending school, how she doesn't understand why she's doing it.
Today, I'm pretty sure I was served notice that she will be quiting after this semester. Tori is not the kind of person to just come up to me and say, "Oh, I'm not going to school anymore. I quit." No, she wants me to "see it coming".
She sit there talking about how even with 6 years of schooling behind her, she wouldn't leave the university making any more than she is now . . . only with four more years of debt to pay off. How she wasn't even interested in her major or any major. How she felt any job was a job and she'd do a good job at it.
All I could think was she was getting her wish, she was going to turn out to be nothing, just like her mom.
Hold on! Don't email me with tons of "you're not nothing" emails. I do understand that and I have done many things I am proud of. More importantly, as I've aged, I've come to realize being "someone" has nothing to do with job, eduction, or money.
I'm simply having a mom's gut reaction to feeling like her daughter is taking the first major wrong turn in her life. And there is nothing I can do about it. Hell, I can even understand it.
Tori is a smart young woman with a great work ethic and winning personality. I'm sure she'll be fine.
It's just that her mom is having trouble watching her life unfold from the back seat.
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Oh my. I can understand your disappointment. She has worked sooo hard thus far. I hate to see her quit now. Do the best you can with encouragement. Maybe remind her its not the money at the end of the road, its the satisfaction of saying " I finished! I did it!"
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