Poo Patrol

My son hates going to bed. He's just so full of energy and so interested in every thing going on in the house that he fights sleep with a passion that is admirable. Well, it would be admirable if I wasn't the one having to constantly field his attempts to put sleep off.

The first few months it was all about food and drinks. So I start out at night with a glass of water and crackers by his bed. I still get the occasional need for more substance, but it's less than it use to be.

Then it was the movie he was watching was to scary. He has a collection of almost 200 VHS of every cartoon or animated movie ever made. It's insane. But most of them are villainous in nature; Ninga Turtles, Power Rangers, Batman, Spiderman, etc. Hell, even Scooby Doo has bad people in it. So we are now limited to about ten movies he can watch before he goes to sleep at night.

Then we did the toy thing, the cover thing, the "I Love You" and hug thing. I would have to say that so far, his fourth year is the year of excuses. How many reasons can you find NOT to go to bed? Hundreds.

I am usually working on the computer when he's trying to go to bed, so I am just across the hall. When I get on to him for coming to see me every five minutes he will stand in the door of his room and yell at me. When I get on his for being out of bed, he'll stand on the foot of his bed and peak out the door to yell at me. When I get on him for standing in his bed, he'll lay down and yell at me.

But tonight, tonight he raised the game to an entire new level. Tonight, he insisted that I had not wiped him good when he went to the bathroom two hours ago and there was poo on his bottom. What could I do? I had to take him to the bathroom and wipe him again; and there was nothing there. But he continued to argue with me.

I have a bad feeling this is the way the rest of my life as his guardian will be like; on Poo Patrol.