Open Marriages

Steve and I were watching House this evening and the episode revolved around two different married couples who had open marriages. It disturbed me so much that I could hardly watch the show. In both marriages shown, one person wanted to play the field and their spouse agreed because they loved them and didn't want to loose them. When one wife decided she couldn't do it, her husband lied to her about it and continued to carry on his affair.

I just don't get it. How can you possibly have the trust and respect necessary to create a strong relationship in an open marriage? When I was searching for a photo to accompany this blog I was shocked at how many couples online are admitting to open marriages. I did find one site that came closer to helping me understand the concept. Basically they said there are two different type of people. (A)Those who go into a marriage with the concept it is until death and is a bond that shouldn't be broken - those who would never consider an open marriage. (B) Those that enter a marriage as a business transaction to gain security, ranking, or releave loneliness.

Consider me an A.

As we watched the show this evening, I couldn't help but wonder how the original conversation progressed when having an open marriage was brought up. Do you pick days that you can screw around? Should you notify each other first? If you have kids, do you swap out weekends when Mommy or Daddy get to go out alone? What's the procedure when you return from a romp? Do you head directly to the shower? Do you shower before you come home and act like nothing happened? Do you hop in bed with your spouse and go for round 2 (or 3)?

As a tie in to this issue, I've been searching for a group nearby that I can join to meet new people. Some place where I can alleviate some of the loneliness that has haunted me for the last five years. I'm also thinking of volunteering, but that comes with it's own issues. Mainly time constraints and Will.

When I did a search for lonely mothers in Austin in Yahoo Groups. I found at least ten groups for lonely mothers to hook up with men on the side. When I searched for lonely married people in Austin I found just as many groups for spouse swaps. Each group had hundreds, if not thousands, of members. I did find 3 groups for women who found being at home very lonely and isolated - just what I was looking for. All of them were inactive and had been for years.

It's a sad statement on today's society that a lonely married woman can find places to commit adultery, but no companionship.

Oddly, if you search for companionship you get a bunch of pet groups.

Go figure.