Happy, Happy Birthday, Baby

All children's birthdays are important to their mothers. Probably MORE important to their mothers than to the child most of the time. And no, for all you nay-sayers in the world, not because of the labor that we get to joyfully remember once a year for the rest of our lives. But, because it was the day they were given to us, the day we first saw them. Held them.

And your first child's birthday is also the day you became a mother. Today is the 23rd anniversary of my motherhood; also known as Bonnet's birthday.

It was really Bonnet's birth that gave meaning to my life, that gave me a reason to reach for something better. Gave me someone to love unconditionally. From the first time I saw her face, held her tight against my body, I knew I would do everything possible to make her life better.

Over time, as she and I grew and our situations changed, my ideas of what "better" was changed. Hind sight is 20/20, but even in review all decisions shine with my desire to care for her. Just not the knowledge, security, or maturity to do so.

There has been pain and bad times in her life, as there has in all of ours. I've loved her the best I could through it all and that brings me comfort when I look back. I might not have been the coolest, most intelligent, kindest, easiest going, outgoing, social, best looking, or richest mom. But no one could have loved her more.

And as much as Bonnet, and her life, have been in my thoughts today, so have memories of how young I was when she was born. Bonnet was born 2 weeks before my 20th birthday. I missed much of my childhood and got to experience many aspects of growing up for the first time with Bonnet. We've come a long way.



I love you babe!