"Find the biggest kid in the . . . "

When I was a kid, it was well understood that if you didn't want to be beat up, you found the biggest kid in the class and beat him up first. Yes, I really did grow up in a town where that was a concern for elementary aged students. At least those that were dirt poor, illegitimate, and came from a mixed family in the early 1970s. Fun times.

Over the years, I've heard the same advice given on TV and in shows for different occasions . . .

Find the biggest SOB in the yard, and beat the crap out of him.
Then they'll leave you along in prison.

The rouge (insert animal) will find the largest male in the heard
and kill it to take over his position.

Make friends with the most popular people,
and you will be popular by association.

Okay, so the last one was a little different. But it was also a lot the same.

The interesting thing is that today, I learned a new "find the biggest kid . . . " thing; and for a change it was a positive experience. Not that finding a way to avoid getting beat up daily isn't a positive thing.

Today, I took Will to a McDonald's with an indoor playscape. School is out in our area and when we showed up there were a lot of much larger children in the playscape then their normally are. While I was walking to the table, Will kicks off his shoes and goes right up to the biggest kid in the playscape.

This boy must have been 10-12 and very tall for his age. The top of Will's head just made it above the boy's belt. Will stoped right in front of him and said, "Want to play with me?"

The boy looked down at Will, a little confused. Then he must have convinced himself Will hadn't spoken to him, because he just looked back up and took a few steps off to the side.

Will took a few steps off to the side and kept looking at the boy. "Want to play with me?"

I put down the tray, starting to feel a little sad for Will. I remained standing. I figured if Will tried again, I'd go get him and try to explain that older children didn't always want to play with little boys.

The boy looked at Will again, like he just didn't know what to do with him.

Will just stared at him, smiling. "Want to play with me?"

Before I took a single step, the boy shrugged his shoulders and said, "Sure."

And they played happily together for about half an hour, at which time the boy had to leave. He told Will by and let him know he'd had a good time playing with him.

Will waived him off and then went and found the biggest boy left in the playground. This one was probably 8 or 9. "Want to play with me?"

"Sure." And they played until the boy left about fifteen minutes later.

Will waived him off and went to find the biggest boy left in the playscape. This time it was a boy that was probably 7-8. "Want to play with me?"

"Sure." And they did until we had to leave about ten minutes later.

I set at the table stunned. My four-year old son had managed to convince the oldest child on the playground, at any given time, to play with him for over an hour. My hard to understand, limited in conversation, way to chatty, kong fu fighting, power ranger wanna be son had convinced a boy nearly three times his age to "play" with him.

Another thing that struck me as odd, was that the first two older boys did not have younger siblings with them. So it wasn't a case of them being programed to care for smaller children, which occasionally happens (but usually with girls).

I'm still stumped. No one ever told me that was an option . . .

"Find the biggest kid in the playground and ask them to play with you."