Am I done?

I finished cleaning my house today. Over the last three and a half weeks I've managed to deeply clean every single room in my house. Each closet, cabinet, floor. Every piece of furniture moved and cleaned under.

I've given away no less than 10 trash bags of items and hauled out closer to 30 bags of trash.

When I completed the bathroom today I was sort of let down. In fact, I was wondering what I'd do tomorrow. While checking laundry, I realized I had not cleaned the laundry room. Then I got to thinking, I didn't clean the ceiling fans. I didn't wash the walls down. I didn't . . .

I had to stop and ask myself when was I going to stop? I could continue. It would take a month to clean our garage. A week to clean the attic. A week to clean the driveway. A week to clean the back yard.

What exactly is my goal here? My original goal when Will started school was to use the time he's gone to increase the sales on my website. I have a three prong approach to doing this. 1)Add new patterns, 2)Convert existing patterns to digital so they can be sent via email, and 3)Post links to my website and comments through the web to drive more customers to my site.

I only decided to clean the house because it really needed it. I never expected it to take this long. So why am I LOOKING for more things to clean?

On one hand, I'm kind of addicted to being able to accomplish something so obvious in a morning. When I tackle a new room, it is shocking the difference at the end of the day. I can pat myself on the back and say, "Good job!" When you work for yourself and no one else is involved in your business, you get no 'good jobs', pats on the back, or noticeable recognition.

But it's really the other hand holding me back, fear. It's been a long time since I jumped in with both feet and swam with the big fish. Since I decided 'this' pattern needs to be made and just made it. Remade it and remade it. Found poeple to test it. Wrote up directions the average Jane Doe can follow and marketed it.

While I've come a long way the last couple of months, I still don't have the self confidence I use to have. But I do know how to get it . . . by jumping in with both feet. Sink or swim, baby!