That Black Boy

In the small town I grew up in there was only one family of African-Americans in the entire town. I didn't grow up with them as they had no children my age and didn't live anywhere near us. I only knew of them.

I like to think, however, that I did not grow up prejudice against any nationally of people. The biggest reason being that I was raised by a Hispanic step-father and all the siblings I was raised with are 1/2 Hispanic.

That being said, I don't have enough experience talking to, working with, or hanging out with African-Americans to be comfortable with how to address them without insulting them. This is also true of Native-Americans, Orientals, and many many other nationalities. Due to my awareness of prejudice due to race, I am perhaps more worried about stepping on toes or giving a bad impression to others than most.

For this reason, I was totally mortified a few months back when in the middle of an indoor playscape my son yells out -- loud enough for everyone to hear -- "that black boy took my toy." His parents, a very nicely dressed couple sitting a few tables in front of me immediately turned back to glare at me.

I was beyond shocked. Where would Will have even learned to refer to people as "black"? To make sure I understood correctly, I asked him, "Who took your toy?"

"That boy in the black shirt."

I have heard Will refer to children by the color of their clothing before and I realized that was exactly what he was doing. It just so happened that a African-American child was wearing a black shirt.

I felt a moment of complete happiness that my son truly had noticed no difference in the color of skin, had not made a knowing racial slur. After explaining to him, loudly enough the family could hear, that the boy in the black shirt did not have his toy, just one like it, all was well.

Oddly, since then the same thing has come up again. Another African-American child wearing a black shirt. Once again called a black boy. It wasn't as bad, because there was a group of children playing. It also contained a purple boy and a red girl.