Half a Fat Lady Sings Tonight

Okay, really it's half a printer. Well, really only ONE printer; half my issues. :)

Guess where Will and I went today? Yep, back to Fry's, or French Fries, as Will likes to call it. I went armed with traces of every port on each printer and my computer. A list of information about my computer and everything I've bought and tried up to this point. More importantly, I went DETERMINED. I was not leaving that store until I had a result. I didn't care how long it took or how many people I had to talk to.

Truth be told, I figured they would tire of Will way before I would and offer me all the help I needed just to get me to LEAVE.

The first person wasn't to helpful. He suggested I try another, new, switch box. Since mine were older they didn't come with software and he thought my computers inability to recognize the switch was probably my issue. Sounded good. But he didn't stay around to help me locate one. So I looked them over and all the one's I saw did NOT come with software or look any different to what I had at home. The largers one's did come with software but started about $100.

While trying to decide what to do, another person came up and asked if I needed help. (Saturday's are definitely the day to get help.) After I explained what was going on, he recommend just installing a parallel port in my new computer. With a designated port, I could use any switch box, including the one I had already been using. And it was only $20! He said it was really easy to do and I'd have no problem doing it on my own.

Now, until this last year, I'd never taken a computer apart and attempted to do anything to the inside of one. But I had to take out a broken CD burner and put in a new one a few months back, so I felt this might be something I could do.

But . . . (and isn't there always one?)

They didn't have the port I needed in his department. I would have to go to the area where they sell components to make your own computer. HARD CORE geek town. He told me what I needed, a PCI card with a parallel port. I repeated the phrase to myself all the way across the store, while dragging Will as fast as possible and fielding questions about products the entire way.

I get to Geek Town and surprisingly, not, it's filled with geeks. There are five or six pale, overweight, eye-glass wearing, badly dressed, unaware men on each isle. I see only two employees and they are both in the middle of heavy duty conversations that involve more numbers than actual words.

The minute one breaks lose I walk up to him and ask him if he's got the card I need. This guy looks like he stepped off the pages of a high tech magazine. He's a tall, thin, rich-looking Asian with a snooty attitude. I swear, the look he gave me made me feel like a peasant that was addressing royalty without permission. However, he did walk off to an isle a few behind me, pick something off the shelf, and hand it to me before walking off. Come to think of it, I'm sure he never said a word to me.

Regardless, I paid for my purchase and drove home feeling a lot better about the entire process.

When I got home, I turn off my computer, took off the side, and fought to install the card. I say fought, because I forgot I had a book on the computer and with my lack of experience nothing went the way it was suppose to. Oh, i got everything off that I needed off and everything back in where I wanted it. Let's just say that I didn't use the flat head screwdriver the way it was meant to be used though.

I also had a TON, more like ten tons, of help. I was sitting under my desk, with the computer tilted sideways, a flashlight between my knees so I could shine it where I needed it and Will was either trying to sit on my lap or pushing the chair into me. That doesn't even count the time he took some random tool and started poking it into the inside of the computer. Yikes!

By the time I have the side mostly back on, I was shaking with the stress. I popped open the printer setup box and quickly tried to install my fat printer, and it didn't work.

I walked Will out of the room, shut the door, and pretended a tornado plucked the room from my house for the rest of the day.

After Will went to bed tonight, I went back in and found my manual. I removed the partially closed side of the computer and following the directions, took back out and reset the card. So easy, so fast.

I booted up the machine, it found the new hardware and downloaded the software. I installed my fat printer and it immediately printed out a test page.

Halalewya! Hallalewya!

I could practically hear angels, or fat ladies, singing.

Then I switched to my "b" port and went to install my plotter. Only the Windows CD does not have a driver for it; it's to old. Not worried, I go to HP's website and look it up. It's no longer a supported driver. A search on the Internet shows that the windows driver you have to use for my plotter is the HP GL/2. Now I remember. I had the devils own time trying to find a driver when I first purchased the plotter.

After an hour or searching, and downloading and attempting three drivers that failed, I'm not feeling so happy about that fat lady. Vista doesn't seem to like any of the drivers I've found and I'm to tired to continue looking tonight.

The day contained major achievements. I installed my first ever card into a computer. I got my color laser printer working and my switch box operational. I did these things all on my own; although the path was long and convoluted.

But at the end of the day, it is the new obstacle in my path that weights heavy in my thoughts and not my sucsess.

Oh well, better half a fat lady than no fat lady at all.