Not quite so optimistic

Most of my life I've been a very optimistic person.

I say most of my life, because I've recently come to the conclusion that I am no longer optimistic. Yes, occasionally, things go my way. Occasionally, strangers notice and are nice to me. Occasionally, I have happy days. But I figure the odds are stacked against me; it will happen everyone once in a while.

But I know longer expect it to happen. And this has been a huge shocker for me. After nearly forty years expecting the good from every person and situations, I no longer do. I'm sure someone of you are thinking this is a sign of my ongoing battle with depression, but it feels more like a growing up to me. It's not completely a bad thing. I don't expect the worse of anyone or thing either. Just that it will be one or the other. Good or bad, sometimes in between.

It's just life. They're just people. Shit happens.

Maybe it's part of the aging process. When you think about it, the longer we live the more pain and disappointment we've seen. The more loved one's we've lost. It would be a natural step to lose some of our ability to expect only good.

Steve's a natural pessimist, and has been since the day I met him. Everything that can go wrong will, no one can be trusted, companies are trying to cheat us. Maybe my waining lack of optimism is in part to living so closely to someone with an opposite view point. Married couples do become more like each other through the years.

Regardless of why I've lost my optimistic view on life, it's gone. It's been gone for a while and I don't expect it back. I'm sure, once I adapt to it's loss, I won't even miss it.

(Is that optimistic enough for you?)