Black Hawk, CO

I overnighted an employment application and resume to the City of Black Hawk, CO for Steve on Wednesday. I'm still in shock.

I had no real idea he was going to apply for the job until the night before. I have a vague recollection of him mentioning the job, but had sensed no intent on his part to actually follow through.

Now I'm freaking out. What if they call to interview him? What if they offer him the job? What is we move there? What if . . .

I looked up the city online and it's a casino town. In fact, it's darn hard to find anything about the city that doesn't have to do with casinos. Casinos are not my favorite thing. I'm also really worried about the cost of living in CO. If Steve gets the job, he'll be making more than he makes here . . . but will that compensate for the increase in the cost of living?

I'm also a little bummed because Steve and I have talked for almost a decade about stepping out of the fast lane. Moving to a small town with a lower income bracket and escaping some of the pressure we've been under. This seems a wrong turn for that dream. But, this opportunity would come complete with health benefits and a retirement plan I'm sure. Something our "dream" doesn't have.

Pro's? I'd be closer to the new grandbaby coming this summer. We'd actually get to experience winter. Steve would be out of Texas. We'd have health insurance. Steve would be in a job that wasn't as dangerous as his current one is.

Con's? I'd miss Tori and my friend, Charlene. I'd experience winter - and probably hate it. I'd be out of Texas. I might have to get a job outside the house to help meet finances. We'd have to sell our house and move immediately.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm overthinking it. He hasn't even been called in for an interview yet. It's just scarry.