And that's the Doctor's House

When I was growing up, no one spoke to me about what I could be as an adult. No one suggested I further my education, or even get a job. It was partially that we lived in a tiny town (under 3,000) and partially that we were very poor.

But not once did I hear any information leading me to understand there were differences in salaries and benefits to planning out your future. Never once was I told if you don't stay in school in get an education you will end up working at the Dairy Queen. (Though that was a pretty good job for a town of that size.)

So when my girls got old enough to start griping about school I took them for a ride in our old clunker. I don't remember which clunker; except for color and age, they were all the same.

I drove them to the poorest part of town and pointed out houses as we went through the neighborhood.

"That one belongs to the guy that picks up our garbage," I'd tell them.
"Is that where you want to grow up and live?"

"That one belongs to the woman at the laundry mat, would you like to live there?"


Then I'd drive over to the fanciest part of town I could fine. Places with outdoor pools and tennis courts.

"That's the doctor's house," I told them.
"Wouldn't you like to live with a a house with a swimming pool?"

"That's the lawyers house. The one with the giant water fountain.
"Wouldn't you like to take your friends to that house?"


I also made up stories about how the poor people had clothes from garage sales and the doctors got to buy all the new clothes they wanted. Told the diffence in Christmas and Birthday presents between the two.

It didn't really matter which house I pointed at, I had no clue who lived in which House. I just wanted them to be aware that choices they made now and throughout their lives would lead them in one direction or another.

Are you ever Lucky?

I was talking to my sister this last weekend about Luck -- good and bad.

If you didn't know me better, you might be led to believe I've had a run of bad luck lately. After all, I did just loose my sister to suicide, my brother shipped back off to Iraq, I broke my laptop, forgot to pay my taxes, my car died on me, the new (old) vehicle I bought looses trim every time I wash it, my trash service quit two weeks before I thought they would, and my AC unit caught on fire. And don't even get me started about those shoes! And this in the last month only.

But what you don't realize is that my entire life is that way. Has always been that way. I read a saying once, "Unlucky at cards, Lucky in love." I've accepted it gratefully to explain my entire life.

There are certain things I have accepted as truth; I will never have money, never have all the trimmings others have in their life, and never had a smooth sailing life. It's just not in my cards. (Don't get me started on Karma, me and that bitch need to have words.)

But back to the "Luck" thing. While visiting my sister she was apologizing for my run of bad luck. Everyone does, all the time. I tell her I don't really believe in Luck; good or bad. I mean really, everyone blames Luck for their misfortunes . . . but how often do you hear anyone say, "I'm so lucky!" (And not recant it a few years later at divorce Court.)

If someone is doing well it's their skill, hard work, and dedication. Or Mommy's pocket book. Have you ever heard anyone say:

"Oh, I'm not really qualified for this job. But Bob got caught with the bosses wife and let go unexpectedly. Really, I was just lucky."

"No, I was walking down the street and the guy in front of me dropped his wallet. I grabbed it fast and jumped in the car. Man, it was so full of cash. I am so lucky!"

"Yeah, with my 6th grade education, I never should have been up for the posit on of Executive assistant. But the boss caught me changing clothes in his office. I'm so lucky!"

Doesn't happen, and never will. Luck is an escape goat we assign blame to when life doesn't turn out the way we want. Or when others get things we didn't.

As probably, the most unlucky person you will ever meet, I have some words of wisdom for you.


Don't worry about the things you can't change.

Do not get upset over the small things. If someone didn't die, you don't have a fatal disease, and you haven't been put out on the street; it's probably survivable

Don't be sour over your losses, real or perceived.

Be glad for the things you still have that are not broken, damaged, or stolen.

Always remember that people count; things don't.