I've been clubbing on a semi-regular basies for about two years now and I thought I'd share my perspective of what going out in your fourties is like.
Keep in mind: I'm out with a bunch of women my age, and we tend to go places where we're comfortable. The experience is probably totally different if you're younger.
THE USUAL SUSPECTS
I'm an avid people watcher and I've categorized many of the types of people I come across when clubbing.
Ms. Independence
This is most commonly a woman, but I have come across a man or two, who is newly out of a relationship and out to prove something. They drink too much, laugh way too loud, are very 'handy', and they will go home with ANYTHING. Don't dance to close to them, they'll take it as an invitation - and they are hard to get away from.
Twinkies
This is a set of two same-sex individuals that are incapable of acting without each other. They will go to the bathroom, bar, or dance, only at the same time. They can often be seen leaving at the same time with two (or one) person of the opposite sex. Don't bother asking one of them to dance unless you have a friend to take with you.
The Team
This is a bunch of individuals that are use to being together and not interested in interacting outside of their group. They may work together, be related, belong to the same social network, or play on a team sport together. While seeing groups of people together at clubs is not unusual, they are usually more open to interaction from others - not these guys. Save your breath and just ignore them.
The Chairman
This person is usually part of a group. He/she will jump up and make it their job to locate and drag over a chair for anyone who slows down when approaching their table. They're also known to grab extra napkins, glasses of water, and ash trays as needed. Nice to have in your group, but not worth asking to dance - they never have any time to call their own.
The Freak
Sadly, this is most often a woman. It is someone who isn't out to prove anything and doesn't need alcohol to scare the shit out of everyone. They dance by themselves, usually in a manner that is way over the top. They are also known to randomly draw unsuspecting people into conversation while on the dance floor then follow you back to the table and try to join the group. They also have no idea what words like 'that seat is taken', 'no thank you', 'could you leave now' mean. Some times the only option is for the entire group to get up and relocate, sans the Freak.
The Enabler
This is someone who drinks very little and never dances, but funds the activities for others. It's usually an older person who is living vicariously. They are prone to snagging people for their friends and bringing them back to the table. They're pretty harmless, and known to buy drinks for pretty much anyone.
The Rock Star
This is a woman that likes to dress scandalously (spandex pants, see through tops, etc.) and wear make up thick enough she looks ready to appear on stage. At our age, not a pretty picture. She's almost always alone and never joins another group. Since she looks easy, she gets asked to dance a lot. While she adores the attention - may even need it, she's most likely to leave alone.
The Drunk
This is usually a man. Most of the time, it's a normal old Tom, Dick, or Harry that has worked all week and just wants to have a good time. Desperately, wants to have a good time. They usually show up about three sheets to the wind and it goes down hill from there. They're generally nice, fun to talk to, a riot to watch, and if you catch them early enough, they'll dance with anyone that asks them. Just don't wait to ask them to long, or they'll step on your toes, spin you into poles, and trip on the way to the dance floor.
The Babysitter
This is the responsible one in a group. There isn't a Babysitter in every group, but most groups don't need them. The Babysitter is most noticeable when combined with a Drunk or Ms. Independence. Once someone in their group hits staggering stage, the Babysitter will start trying to convince them it's time to leave. For some reason, this always takes about thirty minutes. You can always tell how often a person plays this role, by how fast they can get their drunk friend out the door.
The Cougar
An older woman trying to pick up younger man to prove she's still attractive. Has many of the same traits as Ms. Independence, but they're more calculating and able to handle their liquor better. They are also mean and prone to defending their territory - perceived or otherwise. Stay clear of.
In conclusion
Once you've identified the usual suspects many fun hours can be filled with placing bets on who takes who home, how fast someone falls down, who gets asked to dance first, if those pants will rip while she dances, and so much more.
Catch Part 2 to read about my last girls night out and the appearance of the usual suspects.
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