Finally Enough

I lost my drivers license about six weeks ago and just received my new one in the mail. I was more than a little surprised to find that I had no real objection to the photo taken by the Department of Transportation's clerk. I've never cared for a license before. In fact, I once kept the same photo for so long - just renewing online - that people began to question it was actually my license.

As I pondered this rare phenomenon - a license photo that was acceptable - I came to a surprising conclusion. I'm OK with the photo, because I'm OK with the person in the photo.

All of my life, I have qualified my value by one thing or another: my education (or lack of), my looks, my weight, my children, my participation in my children's lives, my job, my husband, my marriage, my relatives, my house, and so on.

And over my life, each and every thing I used to apply value to myself has failed me, leaving me floundering, with no concept of worth or idea of where to go from there.

And suddenly, at the ripe old age of 45, I'm OK. I'm accepting of all the women I've been, understanding of the choices, decisions, and consequences of each move made.

There will always be things I regret, but they no longer define me. Nor do the things I've yet to accomplish - or will never accomplish. I'm not the worse at anything. Nor am I the best at anything . . . except being Misty.

And oddly, that's finally enough.