Bad "Body Image" Week

To say the last few days have been hard on my self-perceived body image, would be an understatement. It's been almost a year since I started working on getting myself back into shape. In that time I've lost over 50 pounds and dropped from a pants size 20 to a size 11. I've joined a gym and started building back muscles. I've been trying to take care of my skin. All in all, I'd say I was happy with my progress.

I like to think that if I never dropped another pound or went down another size I could be content to stay as I am right now.

Well, that was the way I felt Thursday.

Saggy Boobs

Thursday night Will was sick and I kept him home from school on Friday. He was whiny and followed me every where I went; including into the bathroom when I took my bath. I haven't let him see me without clothing for years, but he didn't want to be alone. It didn't take long before I realized the 'real' reason women quit letting their children see them naked.

He hadn't been in there but a few minutes when he just flat out says, "Mom, you have long boobies." I ignored him. Hoping that by not making a big deal out of what he'd said, it would just slide by.

A few minutes later, "Really Mom, you have long boobies." I asked him if he wanted to leave the bathroom and he replied "No". "Then don't talk about my boobies," I told him. "But Mom, they are really long."

Later that evening, I told Steve about it. And my loving husband has made a point to refer to my long boobies every chance he gets. He thinks it's hilarious.

Old Thin Women

Steve and I went dancing at a new place Friday night and I was surprised that about 70% of the clientele was over the age of 60. As the night passed, I begin to notice that all the old women were thinner than I was, wore smaller sizes, and had waists (mine hasn't made a reappearance yet). Not only did hanging around so many people older than me make me feel old, but fat at well.

No Hips

Tonight I attended my first belly-dancing class. I was comforted, upon arrival, to see over half the class was my age or older. Most all of them about the same size I was, or larger. The teacher lined us up in front of the mirror and started right in.

The first things we did was exercise our hips. Right in the middle of her discussion on what to do she looked at me and said that some of this might be more difficult for me since I had such small hips.

Every time anything having to do with hips was mentioned, and it came up often over the next hour, she made a point of addressing me in front of the entire class with ideas or suggestions for people with small hips. Every time the male student made a comment about abdominal muscles, differences in stance, etc. (as it applied to male dancers), the instructor would comment then turn to me, "You need to be aware of this as well, as you might have this same issue since your hips are so narrow."

At the end of class she talked about our practicing at home in front of mirrors and how we could touch certain muscles to make sure we were doing everything correctly, because every one has a different body style and not all moves will be totally visible on some bodies...and she was looking at me.

The Conclusion

Last week I was happy with my body. I knew I needed to work on my abdominal area, but I've started some exercises that target that area and really hoped my belly-dancing class would help. It was all good.

This week, I have saggy boobs, no hips, and I'm an old fat woman.