Light at the End of the Tunnel

I sit at my computer with the week behind me and experience the greatest sense of accomplishment. I didn't do anything extraordinary, nothing most women don't do on any given week. However, I had lost all belief that I would ever be able to function at full capacity again. And I'm doing it.

Steve was out of town Tuesday, Wednesday, and most of Thursday. He came home around 6 PM and was out of town again this morning. He will not be back until Sunday evening. And his absence is one of the main contributors to my feeling of euphoria, because, I never would have realized what I could accomplish on my own if he'd been around.

I worked four days this week. Each of those days I had to get up at 5:45 to get Will out to the bus, fix breakfast, pack lunches, and leave the house by 7:00 to drive into work. When I returned home, I had less than an hour before Will's bus showed up. In the evening, Will and I would go out to the park or go shopping. We'd eat out. Come home just in time to get him bathed and in bed. Then I'd spend 3-4 hours on the computer finishing up my online class.

Big deal, right? I worked part time, took care of my kid, and did an online class. The amazing part is that I did it without loosing my cool, getting the shakes, or sinking into depression. I felt great all week.

Now, I did stumble across at least one major issue. I can not deal with the entire 'fix a meal' thing in the evenings when it is just Will and I. He requires too much attention after a day at school and my nerves can't handle the constant interruptions while trying to work on something. But as long as I put us in a situation where I can give him the attention he needs, we do fine.

I even watched the neighbors boys a few minutes today. I took them all riding in the trailer on the lawn mower as I mowed the grass in the front yard and then out to Sonic for ice cream.

Tonight, I clearly see the light at the end of the tunnel, and for the first time in years, I don't think it's a train.