The Other Side

I went to a swimming party with a friend today and it was an eye opening experience. The party was held at an apartment swimming pool, and hosted by a 44 year old friend of my friends. A single woman.

There ended up being seven women and one man that attended. One woman looked to be in her late 30s, one was most likely in her early sixties, and the rest of us ranged between 44-54. The man appeared to be in his mid-fifties. Everyone, with the exception of the sixty year old, was overweight and flabby.

Other than my friend and myself, they were all single. I think everyone there had been married at least once.

So there we were in all of our bathing suit glory - which wasn't very glorified. We ended up next to the area of the pool that hosted the volley ball match. A group of about fifteen young men - all under 25 - played ball the entire time we were there. And the entire time, all the women at our party drooled over them.

I have trouble drooling over anything young enough to be my own child, so I was more than a little freaked out about this. And as I listed to the conversation among our group, I became more freaked out.

This group gets together at a different swimming pool every two weeks all summer long and has parties. They were all desperately seeking someone. In fact, one woman had to leave early for a first-date with someone she met online - something she's been doing a lot of according to the rest of the women.

Everyone drink too much, tried too hard, laughed too much - often at nothing.

The longer I was there, the more desperate and sad they all seemed. And I think the thing that bothered me most is the knowledge that in their shoes, I wouldn't even be as well off as they are. At least they have each other to hang out with a couple of times a month. At least they still get out of their house and interact with others - even if they are young enough to be their children. At least they are still trying.

I've often heard how hard it becomes to find someone to spend your life with after you hit your forties. The people I met today showed me a side of that difficulty I never thought about; the isolation.

I can't say I had a bad time. The company made me feel good in my bathing suit. I got to listen to some really old music. I watched a 55 year old woman give a 22 year old guy a boobie-shot. I had free alcohol and snacks.

It wasn't the best time I've ever had, nor the worse.

What it was, was a look at life on the other side of the coin. I was really glad to get home to husband, every mature inch of him.