Shy, Stuck Up, Uncaring?

I am the oldest of 5 children and we were raised in a small town of under 2,000 with all of our cousins close by. Sounds great hu? It was, but . . .

The result of always being around people you know and in situations you are comfortable with is that you don't know how to react when you meet new people or are in unfamiliar situations. Which, combined with my personality, lead to a major case of shyness I've never totally outgrown.

"So what?" you say?

The "so what" is not my being shy or even the ways I've managed to live and slightly overcome it. The "so what" is how being a shy person has made people perceive me.

When I was young, every one knew I was shy and it was adorable, expected, and I was not punished or put down by others for being shy. "It's okay honey, you don't have to look at me." "Don't worry about it, she's just shy and she'll out grow it." "Just be glad she is shy." It wasn't such a bad thing to be.

When I was a little older, and dare I say "hot", I was perceived as being stuck up or seeing myself as above everyone else. "She thinks she's too good for us." "Thinks she's all that." Not such a good place to be, but hey, I was HOT!

Now that I'm older, grayer, and heavier . . . it's changed again. I don't know if people honestly don't expect a woman in her 40s to be shy or what. "She never waves at me when she's outside." "She's never come over and said a single word to me."

Yeah, I know. Everyone who is "not" shy is thinking . . . there are things you can do to help overcome shyness. And there are. And I have. But, being terminally shy never goes away, regardless of age.