Special Occasions and Their Dwindling Appeal

Today is Steve's birthday, he's stepping a little closer to mid-40s. I can't give him to hard of a time because I'm right behind him.

But as I prepare to go to bed, I run over the preparations for Steve's birthday. One one hand, I find them lacking . . . on the other, they're okay.

I made him a special cake from scratch, the way he likes. I even let Will help, which means I am covered in powdered sugar and Mexican vanilla. I purchased thoughtful gifts I think he will like, I even wrapped them. We're meeting Tori for lunch. That's it.

For a person in their 40s that is in a long-term relationship, I think that's pretty normal for a birthday. The sad thing is that I can remember how it use to be. How I'd plan a party months in advance, invite EVERYONE we know, spend hundreds on food and drinks, etc. In comparison, I feel like it might appear that I care about him less than I use to. And that's not the case (well, not today).

As I thought about my lack of enthusiasm or overt "fuss" regarding Steve's b-day and even our upcoming 13th anniversary I realized that the same lack of enthusiasm has began to par all special occasions. Holidays, anniversary, birthdays, wedding, births, etc. In my twenties every occasion to celebrate was a fun and amazing thing -- an easy 12 on a scale of 1-10. Now, most of them rank about 6 on a scale of 1-10.

At first, I thought maybe it's just part of the aging process. Because I have to tell you that over the last few years I've noticed a real lack of interest in making meals -- I've eaten the damn same stuff for 43 years! When are they going to come up with a new animal we can eat or discover an abundant and easy to grow new vegetable? And I wonder how much worse it has to be in your 60s or 70s? Do you ever thing, "If I see more one potato, I'm going to throw up."

Then, I wondered if it has to do with the religion I was raised in. I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness; which pretty much was just as excuse for my parents to never participate in ANY holiday. I never celebrated Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween, or my birthday until my mid-20s. That easily explains why they were so exciting; made even more so by the fact I had two small children to celebrate them with.

Could it be, that now, I am finally caught up with my "fill" of holidays? Am I where most people are in their early 30s? Sick and tired of ANOTHER holiday?

I think it's a little of both. The emotions are alive and kicking, but the enthusiasm has wained.