The Note

I've been thinking about all the adjustments Steve has made over the last year as we prepared for a new baby, and then as the father of a new born.

In addition to having Linden in the house, Steve has lost most of his wife's time, and gained a lot more responsibility towards Will.

I wanted to let him know I was aware of how life had changed and that I appreciated the acceptance on his part towards those changes. As having a serious talk with Steve is a hit-and-miss, with his humor jumping out at the strangest moments, I decided to leave him a note.

I explained that I was sorry he had to make his own breakfast and pack his own lunches. Sorry the house wasn't clean and the laundry hardly ever done. That meals were often abbreviated affairs or burnt offerings. That I had no time to spend with him. I even expressed sorrow that I had gained weight, seldom put on nice clothes, and never had time to fix my hair or put on make up. But I was not sorry that I had him, Will, or Linden in my life . . . and I never would be.

When I woke up this morning, I saw that Steve had written "Me too" next to the end of each paragraph. It didn't bother me at first, but then I noticed he'd even written it next to the paragraph about me being sorry I had gained weight and never wore makeup.

I was all, "What the hell did he mean by that?"

How dare he say anything about me putting on weight! (And I was off!) I mentally tallied a list of imagined insults. Eventually, the insult train had a layover and reason boarded. Then I was mad at myself.

Steve hadn't gone out of his way to make me feel bad. I was the one that put all those statements on paper and made them real. All of a sudden, I felt like the woman asking her husband if her pants made her ass look big. Don't ask if you don't want the truth.

When Steve and I were sitting around the living room this evening, after the boys went to bed, I brought up the note and my see saw of emotions regarding his response.

The man is either really good at saving his hide, or honestly didn't mean the "Me too" the way I'd taken it.

"I meant that I too had gained weight and never had time to dress up for you," he said.

Isn't he sweet?