Fat Ass

This evening, a truth I've been avoiding was cemented: I have a fat ass. Oh, I have a lot of big things. But I have the horrible feeling I will discover just how "big" one by one.

While hugging Steve, he patted my rather large 'rear feature' and I reached back to slap his hand. Only I slapped my own ass. I had no idea how far around it was to his hand. No clue the territory had undergone such development in the last few years.

After shooting Steve a withering glance for his, "Did you like it?" comment after I told him what I'd done, I left the room in deep thought.

I was recalling how seven years ago I had a real problem when bowling of attempting to swing around what I thought were my HUGE hips. I just knew I was going to slam the bowling ball right into them. The girls and Steve use to laugh at me. They finally broke me of the habit.

A few months ago when we went bowling, I slammed the bowling ball into my hip so hard it bruised it. I left there laughing at the irony; but still unaware of the true scope of the problem.

Consider me aware.