Wall? Maze? Labyrinth?

Each pain or injury a person suffers results in new self-imposed regulations or restrictions.

Don't touch the stove when it's hot.

Don't date the first person to come along after a break up.

Always take your own car on a first date.

While all the things listed above should be common sense, most people don't really adhere to the advice until they've have a bad experience. And whether the hurt is a physical, emotional, or a sexual one, the result is the same. Every injury results in a wall.

The concept is not new. Psychiatrists have been discussing building and breaking down emotional walls for ever. I've been aware of the distance (wall) I put up most of my life. If you aren't aware of your own wall, you have at least met someone with one.

Over the last few weeks, I've come to realize something shocking, that is the fact that it's not a single wall that is reinforced with each new injury or slight. It is a complicated conglomeration of interlocking walls. A labyrinth. A maze.

The first time I was able to clearly see the distinction was when I realized that even those I love and hold dear are divided into different areas.

For myself, my inner wall - that is damn near indestructible - contains only my children and Steve; people that could do damn near anything and I'd still love them. Outside of that wall is another wall that is pretty spectacular on it's own and it contains my siblings. The next wall is a little easier to get into, if you like 60-foot steep cliffs. (LOL) It contains a chosen friend, a few relatives, and some in-laws that just will not give up. And the walls just keep going.

The more I thought about these individual walls the more I realized that people have crossed barriers; moved closer to the center ring. And that is when I realized it wasn't actually a labyrinth at all, it was more like a maze from Dungeons and Dragons. Without my even knowing it, there are different levels and tasks that a person must pass or complete to move to the next level.

Yeah, yeah, I'm spending to much time playing games. :)

Whether the task is simple persistence, common goals, time acquainted, I can't really say. I think each level has it's own restrictions and they are probably set at the time of the injury that caused the wall to show up.

Not being one, I can't say for sure, but I feel that there are probably people out there that aren't as injured. That grew up in a more stable environment, more protected. Or, that were capable of protecting themselves earlier.

I guess I just wanted to say to all you people hiding behind walls of your own, you're not alone. It just feels that way because we're all bricked in.