Shed Those Clothes

Spending the better part of five days in a car will leave you lots of time to think . . . about everything. And once you've thought about all the normal stuff, your mind really begins to wonder.

Today I found myself embedded deeply in thought solely from a verse in a song on the radio. Oddly, I don't even recall the song, artist, or the exact lyrics that started my little thought process. It was about a woman being hurt in a relationship and then being afraid to love again.

My initial thought was, "Who hasn't?" (Keep in mind, this isn't my third marriage because it's my lucky number.)

Then I started thinking about how differently we love the first time we commit. How freely we give of ourselves before we realize we can, and probably will be, hurt. In truth, it's like we're standing there naked and vulnerable; offering all. Expecting all in return.

And each time we try again, we are a little less open. A little less naked and vulnerable. A little more clothed.

I know for a fact that even with my husband of fourteen years I am not as open or free with my emotions as I was the first time I ever fell in love. I don't know that I can be. Too much experience, too many walls.

As the thought developed, I realized that actually it's not just in love that we don protective gear. It's in all relationships we have; with our children, our co-workers, friends, siblings, parents, etc. In a sense, we are truly born naked and open and gear ourselves more and more as we grow and experience life.

It's natural.

It's also sad. Yes, we are more protected. Yes, we are less likely to get hurt. But what about that unbridled passion of giving your all? How long has it been since you felt that . . . offered that?

So I challenge you to join me. Pick a day, a 24-hour period, and strip. Shed those clothes, those layers.

• Forget every bad thing your co-worker ever said about you.
  
• Overlook every slight from your neighbor.
  
• Pretend your siblings were never mean.
  
• Erase all ill feelings toward your boss, or your job.
  
• Image this is your first date, ever.
  
• Act as if you've never been hurt.
  
• Pretend your perfect.

For one day, smile and be happy. Look forward to everything you do. Tease. Flirt. Share unconditional love and support. Enthusiastically great each adventure, each person.

Join me for one day of skinny dipping.

The Trip

As you can see, I made it safely to CO to spend time with Bonnet and my new grand daughter, B'ella. I also made it safely home.

I owe the success of the trip to my friend, Bill. He is the person that suggested I drink Monster energy drinks to keep me awake during the long days of driving. Prior to this trip, I have never been able to drive longer than 2-3 hours without falling asleep at the wheel. I had no such issues the entire trip there or back. In fact, I was wide awake and everything was extremely clear and vivid.

How liberating.

For the first time in my life, I can truly look forward to taking road trips anywhere I want to go -- given enough funds for gas and hotel rooms. (All the more reason to look for a job when Will goes to school next month.)

The trip was amazing. My nine days with Bonnet and B'ella were priceless. I remember my mother telling me when Bonnet was born that she had no idea she would love a grandchild (on sight) as much as a child she had carried for nine months. I now know exactly what she was talking about.

The opportunity to see Bonnet as a mother brought tears to my eyes. Her obvious love and devotion for B'ella -- precious. I wanted to just wrap them both in my arms and protect them from growing-up and learning to raise a child -- neither of which can be done without mistakes and a few hard knocks.

I'm so glad I made the trip. So glad I had the time with my girls. I'm even glad I took Will along and that we spent some time sight seeing on the return trip.

All I have to say in closing is that none of you are safe. I have wheels (and monsters) and I know how to use them.

Changes

I've always been a person that doesn't handle change well. I like living in my routine and slowing graduating to new phases of life. In my experience, giant changes proceed difficult times. Lost job, new baby, moving into a new house, adjusting to marriage. Not that all of those things are bad, just difficult.

In fact, most 'major changes' take the average person six months to adjust to. During that time they are more emotional, stressed, and prone to physical ailments. If you are more prone to stress or depression than normal, they are harder than that to bounce back from.

I remember the first time I flew on a plane. I was 34, on my way up the corporate ladder. I was flown to CO for a weeks worth of classes. I cried when the plane took off, scared of facing this new experience on my own. Afraid of being away from my family and home. (And, I'm afraid of heights - that didn't help.) Each additional time I've flown since has become easier. No poor stranger has had to hold my hand on takeoff since the first time.

Now I'm facing another first. Another change. And it's scary too, thought mentally I realize it shouldn't be. I'm going on my first cross-country trip alone. I've driven to Tyler, to Midland, to Ft. Worth by myself. I've never driven out of Texas on my own. Will and I are leaving Thursday morning and hope to be in CO by Friday evening.

Sure, this sounds like a totally doable thing to most people. My issue is that I seriously can't drive for more than 2-3 hours max at a time, then I start falling asleep. So, my plan is to drive until I need to stop and . . . well, stop. Oddly, it's not the thought of the driving that's bothering me. Yes, it will take me much longer than it should. But I'll have Will with me and I don't expect he'll be griping about lots of pit stops.

What's bothering me is that I've never done it before. I've never driven across states on my own. Never had to find and check into a hotel by myself. Never had to worry about how far to the next gas station or if I'd make it to another town before dark - cause believe me, no one wants me on the highway after dark.

While sharing this irrational fear with a friend over coffee tonight, Latisha said that doing 'new' things actually becomes harder to adjust to as we get older. When young, everything is new. As we get older, there are less new things to do and when we stumble across one, it rocks our world.

At least in my case, I think she's right.

So if you have any good secrets for staying awake on trips, or ideas of good stopping places on the trip to CO, be sure to share.

Oh, and here is the reason for my trip; Briella (B'ella) Riddles. Born today around 3:00 p.m. At birth, she was 7.3 pounds and 18-3/4 inches long. Not a great photo, but the first one her Grammy got to see.

Crazy Uncle Steve

My sister, Byjo, and her two children showed up for a visit yesterday. They are going to be spending a few days with us and we're very excited.

Byjo has two children, Payton who is seven and Sam who is five. Sam is actually only three weeks older than Will.

Jody, Byjo's husband, gets along well with Steve and we use to really enjoy seeing the entire family on a more regular biases.

An hour or so after Steve got home last night, Sam walks up to him and asks him a question. To be honest, I never found out what the question was because the very calm way he addresses Steve (and what he called him) was so funny.

"Hu, Crazy Uncle Steve, can . . . "

Hum, wonder where he got the idea that was Steve's official name? Gotta watch how you refer to people in your children's hearing or they will tell on you every time.